Spirit Walk Ministry
A Shamanic Studies Ministry
583 State Road
Plymouth, MA 02360
United States
ph: (617) 682-8354
contact
George Washington's Rules of Civility
The Exercise of a Schoolboy
George Washington, sometime before the age of 16, transcribed Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation.
(Original errors in numbering have been corrected; original spelling is unchanged.)
.
1st Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.
2d When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usualy Discovered.
3d Shew Nothing to your Freind that may affright him.
4th In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.
5th If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkercheif or Hand before your face and turn aside.
6th Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.
7th Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half Drest.
8th At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.
9th Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.
10th When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.
11th Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.
12th Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.
13th Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.
14th Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.
15th Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean yet without Shewing any great Concern for them.
16th Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close.
17th Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be Play'd Withal.
18th Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unask'd also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.
19th let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat grave.
20th The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are upon.
21st: Reproach none for the Infirmaties of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof.
22d Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy.
23d When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew Pity to the Suffering Offender.
24th Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Publick Spectacle.
25th Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremonie are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.
26th In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.
27th Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it's due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being ask'd; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.
28th If any one come to Speak to you while you are are Sitting Stand up tho he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.
29th When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.
30th In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour: but if three walk together the middest Place is the most Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.
31st If any one far Surpassess others, either in age, Estate, or Merit yet would give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.
32d: To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the cheif Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.
33d They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.
34th It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.
35th Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.
36th Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.
37th In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.
38th In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.
39th In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.
40th Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.
41st Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses; it Savours of arrogancy.
42d Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a Prince.
43d Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.
44th When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.
45th Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.
46th Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time & Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.
47th Mock not nor Jest at any thing of Importance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasent abstain from Laughing there at yourself.
48th Wherein wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts.
49th Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.
50th Be not hasty to beleive flying Reports to the Disparagement of any.
51st Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush'd once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.
52d In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.
53d Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking yr Arms kick not the earth with yr feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.
54th Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stokings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.
55th Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.
56th Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company.
57th In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.
58th Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern.
59th Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act agst the Rules Moral before your inferiours.
60th Be not immodest in urging your Freinds to Discover a Secret.
61st Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn'd Men nor very Difficult Questians or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.
62d Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.
63d A Man ought not to value himself of his Atchievements, or rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred.
64th Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho' there Seem to be Some cause.
65th Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.
66th Be not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it's a time to Converse.
67th Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding.
68th Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Ask'd & when desired do it briefly.
69th If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indiferent be of the Major Side.
70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiours.
71st Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.
72d Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.
73d Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.
74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended.
75th In the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it's handsome to Repeat what was said before.
76th While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.
77th Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.
78th Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Vertue, commend not another for the Same.
79th Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not.
80th Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.
81st Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that Speak in Private.
82d undertake not what you cannot perform but be carefull to keep your promise.
83d when you deliver a matter do it without passion & with discretion, however mean the person be you do it too.
84th When your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.
85th In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not til you are ask'd a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words.
86th In Disputes, be not So Desireous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.
87th Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others Say.
88th Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressigns, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse.
89th Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust.
90th Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there's a Necessity for it.
91st Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.
92d Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.
93d Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him wt. meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.
94th If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it Self.
95th Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the table.
96th It's unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.
97th Put not another bit into your Mouth til the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the Gowls.
98th Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking.
99th Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil.
100th Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done wt. a Pick Tooth.
101st Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others.
102d It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink.
103d In Company of your Betters be not longer in eating than they are lay not your Arm but only your hand upon the table.
104th It belongs to the Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first,
But he ought then to Begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity that the Slowest may have time allowed him.
105th Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not but on a Chearfull Countenance especially if there be Strangers for Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast.
106th Set not yourself at the upper of the Table but if it Be your Due or that the Master of the house will have it So, Contend not, least you Should Trouble the Company.
107th If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth.
108th When you Speak of God or his Atributes, let it be Seriously & wt. Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor.
109th Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.
110th Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience.
Finis
*****
.
.
Introduction
Confucius (about 551-479 BCE) was born with the family name K'ung. The respect for his teachings led to his being referred to as Grand Master K'ung; K'ung Fu-tzu.
Confucius argued that acting according to our humanity provides a true path through life. When asked for a rule of conduct, Confucius asked, “Is not reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” He taught letters, ethics, devotion of soul, and truthfulness, and was said to be entirely free from foregone conclusions, arbitrary predetermination, obstinacy, and egoism. Confucius did not talk about extraordinary things, feats of strength, disorder, or spiritual beings. When asked about death he replied “While you do not know life, how can you know about death?” He urged the practice of gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.
The Doctrine of Equilibrium and Harmony
1. The heavens have conferred a human nature on mankind alone. Acting according to our humanity provides the true path through life. Wisdom from the past helps us learn how to follow this path.
It is wrong to leave this path for an instant. A path which you are free to leave is not the true path. On this account, the superior man is cautious and careful with respect to where he focuses his attention and how he is regarded; he is anxious to give his mind to only what is worth listening to and what is worth saying.
Secret thoughts and minute expressions of concealed feelings may be transparently obvious. Therefore the superior man is watchful over himself even when alone.
When there are no stirrings of pleasure, anger, sorrow, or joy, the mind may be said to be in a state of equilibrium. When those feelings are stirred and act in their due degree, there ensues what may be called a state of harmony. Equilibrium is the great root from which grow all acts of humanity; harmony is the universal path that guides them.
Let the states of equilibrium and harmony exist in perfection, and a happy order will prevail throughout the heavens and earth, and all things will be nourished and flourish.
The Great Learning
2. The path for learning greatness is to illuminate the goodness in man, to bring out what is best in people, and to achieve the highest excellence. Once the true point of departure on this path is found, thought becomes clear. A calm imperturbability yields the tranquility needed for careful deliberation. That deliberation will achieve the desired goal.
3. Things have their roots and their branches. Affairs have their ends and their beginnings. To know what is first and what is last will lead near to what is taught in The Great Learning.
4. The ancients wishing to exhibit goodness throughout the kingdom first ordered well their own states. To order well their own states, they first brought order into their families. To bring order into their families, they first cultivated their persons. Wishing to cultivate their persons, they first rectified their hearts. To rectify their hearts, they first sought to be sincere in their thoughts. Wishing to be sincere in their thoughts, they first extended to the utmost their knowledge. Such extension of knowledge lay in the investigation of things.
The investigation of things rounded out knowledge. Their knowledge being rounded out, their thoughts were sincere. Their thoughts being sincere, their hearts were then rectified. Their hearts being rectified, their persons were cultivated. Their persons being cultivated, order was brought into their families. Their families being in order, their states were rightly governed. Their states being rightly governed, the whole kingdom was made tranquil and happy.
5. From the supreme ruler down to the mass of the people, all must consider the cultivation of the person the root of everything else.
When the root is neglected, what springs from it cannot be well ordered. What is of great importance cannot be slightly cared for, nor can what is of slight importance be greatly cared for.
Confucius Himself
6. When the disciple Tsze-lu asked to hear his wishes, Confucius replied, “They are, in regard to the aged, to give them rest; in regard to friends, to show them sincerity; in regard to the young, to treat them tenderly.”
7. When Tsze-kung asked for one word that might serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life. Confucius asked, “Is not reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.”
8. Confucius remarked to Tsze-yu, “My doctrine is that of an all-pervading unity.” When Confucius went out, the other disciples asked what these words meant. Tsze-yu replied, “The doctrine of our master is to be true to the principles of our natures and to exercise them benevolently towards others; this and nothing more.”
9. His disciples listed four things that their Master taught; letters, ethics, devotion of soul, and truthfulness. They said he was entirely free of four things—foregone conclusions, arbitrary predetermination, obstinacy, and egoism.
10. Frequent themes for Confucius were the Chinese Odes, history, and maintaining rules of propriety. He said, “It is by the Odes that the mind is aroused. It is by the Rules of Propriety that the character is established. And it is from Music that the finish is received.”
11. Confucius said “Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men.” He remarked that three hundred pieces in the Book of Odes could be summed up in one sentence; “Have no twisted or depraved thoughts.” Of language itself , he said, “It is simply required that it convey the meaning.”
12. His disciples recall that Confucius did not talk about extraordinary things, feats of strength, disorder, or spiritual beings. When Tsze-lu asked about serving the spirits of the dead Confucius responded, “While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve their spirits?”
Tsze-lu went on, “May I ask about death?”
He received the answer, “While you do not know life, how can you know about death?”
Confucius added, “The study of strange doctrines is injurious indeed!”
13. The things in reference to which Confucius exercised the greatest caution were; fasting, sickness and war.
14. Tsze-lu asked, “If you had the conduct of the armies of a great State, whom would you have to act with you?” Confucius replied, “I would not have him to act with me who will unarmed attack a tiger, or cross a river without a boat, dying without any regret. My associate must be the man who proceeds to action full of thoughtfulness, who is fond of carefully laying out his plans, and then carries them into execution.”
15. The stable was burned down when Confucius was at court; on his return he asked, “Has any man been hurt?” He did not ask about the horses.
16. When any of his friends died, if he had no relations who could be depended on for the necessary offices, he would say, “I will bury him.” When he saw any one in a mourning dress, his countenance would become grave. When Confucius was eating by the side of a mourner, he never ate to the full. He did not sing on the same day in which he had been weeping.
17. Confucius said of Kung-ye Chang that he could become married: although he was put in bonds, he had not been guilty of any crime. Accordingly, he gave him his own daughter to wife.
18. Confucius valued filial piety. He suggested, “In serving his parents, a son may remonstrate with them, but gently; when he sees that they do not incline to follow his advice, he shows an increased degree of reverence, but does not abandon his purpose; and should they punish him, he does not allow himself to murmur.”
19. He said, “A youth is to be regarded with respect. How do we know that his future will not be equal to our present? If he reach the age of forty or fifty and has not made himself heard of, then indeed he will not be worth being regarded with respect.”
20. The Music-master, Mien, having called upon him, when they came to the steps, Confucius said, “Here are the steps.” When they came to the mat for the guest to sit on, he said, “Here is the mat.” When all were seated, he told him, “So and so is here; so and so is there.”
The Music-master, Mien, having gone out, Tsze-chang asked saying, “Is it the rule to tell those things to the Music-master?”
Confucius replied, “Yes. This is certainly the rule for those who lead the blind.”
21. At one time Confucius was depressed and lamented, “My doctrines make no way. I will get upon a raft, and float about on the sea. He that will accompany me will be Yu, I dare say”.
Yu hearing this was glad.
Upon which Confucius observed tartly, “Yu is fonder of daring than I am. He does not exercise his judgment upon such matters.”
22. The Master said, “In letters I am perhaps equal to other men, but the character of the superior man, carrying out in his conduct what he professes, is what I have not yet attained to.”
23. “I will not be afflicted at men's not knowing me; I will be afflicted that I do not know men.”
24. Confucius said, “The sage and the man of perfect virtue; how dare I rank myself with them? It may simply be said of me, that I strive to become such without satiety, and teach others without weariness.”
Kung-hsi Hwa said, “That is just what we disciples cannot imitate in you.”
25. A man of the village of Ta-hsiang scoffed, “Great indeed is the philosopher K'ung! His learning is extensive, and yet he does not render his name famous by any particular thing.”
Hearing the gibe, Confucius asked his disciples,“What must I do to please this man? Shall I go in for archery contests? Shall I become a charioteer? That's it, I will take up chariot racing!”
Learning
26. Confucius summed up the importance of knowledge this way, “Those who are born with the possession of knowledge are the highest class of men. Those who learn and readily gain possession of knowledge are the next. Those who are dull and stupid, and yet manage to learn are another class next to these. As to those who are dull and stupid and yet do not learn; they are the lowest of the people.
“But”, he warned, “Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.”
27. To Yu he said, “Lack of love of learning is at the heart of six sources of confusion.
“There is the love of being benevolent without the love of learning; the confusion here leads to a foolish simplicity. There is the love of knowing without the love of learning; the confusion here leads to dissipation of mind. There is the love of being sincere without the love of learning; the confusion here leads to an injurious disregard of consequences. There is the love of straightforwardness without the love of learning; the confusion here leads to rudeness. There is the love of boldness without the love of learning; the confusion here leads to insubordination. There is the love of firmness without the love of learning—the confusion here leads to extravagant conduct.”
28. Chi K'ang asked which of the disciples loved to learn. Confucius replied to him, “There was Tsze-yuan. He loved to learn. Unfortunately his appointed time was short, and he died. Now there is no one who loves to learn as he did.”
When Tsze-yuan died, Confucius bewailed him exceedingly, and the disciples who were with him said, “Master, isn't your grief excessive?
“Is it excessive?” he asked. “If I am not to mourn bitterly for this man, for whom should I mourn?”
29. The duke of Sheh asked Tsze-lu about Confucius, and Tsze-lu did not answer him. Confucius asked, “Why did you not say to him; He is simply a man who in his eager pursuit of knowledge forgets his food, who in the joy of its attainment forgets his sorrows, and who does not perceive that old age is coming on?”
30. “When I walk along with two others, they may serve me as my teachers. I will select their good qualities and follow them, know their bad qualities and avoid them.”
31. “When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.”
32. He said, “There may be those who act without knowing why. I do not do so. Hearing much, selecting what is good and following it; seeing much and keeping it in memory; this is the style of knowledge I prefer.”
33. Tsai Yu being asleep during the day time, Confucius observed, “Rotten wood cannot be carved; a wall of dirty earth will not receive the trowel. This Yu!; what is the use of my reproving him? At first, my way with men was to hear their words and give them credit for their conduct. Now my way is to hear their words and look at their conduct. It is from Yu that I have learned to make this change.”
34. “I do not open up the truth to one who is not eager to get knowledge, nor help out any one who is not anxious to explain himself. When I have presented one corner of a subject to any one, and he cannot from it learn the other three, I do not repeat my lesson.”
35. “When a man is not in the habit of saying, ‘What shall I think of this? What shall I think of this?’ I can indeed do nothing with him!”
The Superior Man
36. Tsze-lu asked what constituted the superior man. Confucius answered, “The cultivation of himself in reverential carefulness.”
“And is this all?”
“He cultivates himself so as to give rest to others.”
“And is this all?”
“He cultivates himself so as to give rest to all the people.”
37. Confucius confessed, “The way of the superior man is threefold, but I am not equal to it. Virtuous, he is free from anxieties; wise, he is free from perplexities; bold, he is free from fear.”
38. Tsze-kung also asked what constituted the superior man. Confucius replied, “He acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his actions.”
39.“The superior man has nine things that are subjects of thoughtful consideration:
In regard to the use of his eyes, he is anxious to see clearly.
In regard to the use of his ears, he is anxious to hear distinctly.
In regard to his countenance, he is anxious that it should be benign.
In regard to his demeanor, he is anxious that it should be respectful.
In regard to his speech, he is anxious that it should be sincere.
In regard to his way of doing business, he is anxious that it should be reverently careful.
In regard to what he doubts about, he is anxious to question others.
When he is angry, he thinks of the difficulties his anger may involve him in.
When he sees gain to be got, he thinks of righteousness.”
40. “The superior man wishes to be slow in his speech and earnest in his conduct. He is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. In every action he considers righteousness to be essential. He performs it according to the rules of propriety. He executes it with humility. He completes it with sincerity. This is indeed the way of a superior man.”
41. “The superior man is distressed by his want of ability. He is not distressed by men's not knowing him. He is correctly firm, and not firm merely.”
42. “He does not promote a man simply on account of his words, nor does he put aside good words because of the man.”
43. “He who does not anticipate attempts to deceive him, nor think beforehand of his not being believed, and yet apprehends these things readily when they occur; is he not a man of superior worth?”
44. “There are three things which the superior man guards against. In youth, when the physical powers are not yet settled, he guards against lust.. When he is strong, and the physical powers are full of vigor, he guards against quarrelsomeness. When he is old, and the animal powers are decayed, he guards against covetousness.”
45. “In dealing with people, the superior man does not set his mind either for anything, or against anything; what is right he will follow.”
46. When he was in Chan, their provisions were exhausted, and his followers became so ill that they were unable to rise. Tsze-lu, with evident dissatisfaction, said to Confucius, “Has the superior man likewise to endure in this way?”
The Master said, “The superior man may indeed have to endure want, but the mean man, when he is in want, gives way to unbridled license.”
Virtue
47. Tsze-chang asked Confucius the source of perfect virtue. Confucius said, “To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue: gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness. If you are grave, you will not be treated with disrespect. If you are generous, you will win all. If you are sincere, people will repose trust in you. If you are earnest, you will accomplish much. If you are kind, this will enable you to employ the services of others. The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue.”
48. When Tsze-ch'ih asked about perfect virtue Confucius replied, “In retirement, it is to be sedately grave; in the management of business, to be reverently attentive; in dealing with others, to be strictly sincere. Though a man goes among rude, uncultivated tribes, these qualities may not be neglected.”
49. “The man of perfect virtue, wishing to be established himself, seeks also to establish others; wishing to be enlarged himself, he seeks also to enlarge others.
To be able to judge others as we would wish to be judged ourselves: this may be called the art of virtue.”
50. Tsze-kung asked, saying, “What do you say of a man who is loved by all the people of his neighborhood?”
Confucius replied, “We may not for that reason alone accord him our approval.”
“And what do you say of him who is hated by all the people of his neighborhood?”
Confucius replied, “We may not for that reason conclude that he is bad. It is better than either of these cases that the good in the neighborhood love him, and the bad hate him.”
The Mean Man
51. "The superior man cannot be known in little matters; but he may be entrusted with great concerns. The small man may not be entrusted with great concerns but he may be known in little matters.
“The superior man thinks of virtue; the small man thinks of comfort. The superior man thinks of the enactions of law; the small man thinks of favors that he may receive.
“The mind of the superior man is conversant with righteousness; the mind of the mean man is conversant with gain.
“The superior man seeks to perfect the admirable qualities of men, and does not seek to perfect their bad qualities. The mean man does the opposite of this.
“What the superior man seeks, is in himself. What the mean man seeks, is in others.”
52. “Respectfulness, without the rules of propriety, becomes laborious bustle; carefulness, without the rules of propriety, becomes timidity; boldness, without the rules of propriety, becomes insubordination; straight-forwardness, without the rules of propriety, becomes rudeness.”
Government
53. Tsze-chang asked Confucius, “In what way should a person in authority act in order that he may conduct government properly?”
The Master replied, “Let him observe the five excellent things, and banish away the four bad things, then he may conduct government properly.”
Tsze-chang said, “What are meant by the five excellent things? ” Confucius replied:
“When the person in authority is beneficent without great expenditure.
“When he lays tasks on the people without their being discontented.
“When he pursues what he desires without being covetous.
“When he maintains a dignified ease without being proud.
“When he is majestic without being fierce.
“When the person in authority makes more beneficial to the people the things from which they naturally derive benefit; is not this being beneficent without great expenditure?
“When he chooses the labors which are proper, and makes them labor on them, who will be discontented?
“When his desires are set on benevolent government, and he secures it; who will accuse him of covetousness?
“When dealing with many people or few, or with great things or small, he does not dare to indicate any disrespect, is not this to maintain a dignified ease without any pride?
“When he dresses properly and looks dignified, so that he is looked at with awe, is not this to be majestic without being fierce? ”
Tsze-chang then asked, “What are meant by the four bad things?”
“To put the people to death without having instructed them; this is called cruelty.
“To suddenly require from them all of their work, without having given them warning; this is called oppression.
“To issue orders as if without urgency at first but when the time comes to insist on them with severity; this is called injury.
“And, generally, in giving pay or rewards to men, to do it in a mean way; this is called acting the part of a mere official.”
54. The disciple Tsze-lu said, “The duke of Wei (who had usurped the title of his father) has been waiting for you to assist in administering the government. What will you consider the first thing to be done?”
The Master replied, “What is necessary is to call things by their right names.”
“So, indeed!”said Tsze-lu [who had assisted the duke in administration for many years]. “You are wide of the mark. Why must the names of things be corrected?”
Confucius responded, “How uncultivated you are, Yu. A superior man, in regard to what he does not know, shows a cautious reserve.
“If names be not correct, language is not in accordance with the truth of things. If language be not in accordance with the truth of things, affairs cannot be carried on to success.
“When affairs cannot be carried on to success, proprieties and harmony will not flourish. When proprieties and harmony do not flourish, punishments will not be properly awarded. When punishments are not properly awarded, the people do not know how to move hand or foot.
“Therefore a superior man considers it necessary that the names he uses may be spoken appropriately, and also that what he speaks may be carried out appropriately. What the superior man requires, is that in his words there may be nothing incorrect.”
55. Confucius said, “To rule a country, there must be reverent attention to business, and sincerity; economy in expenditure, and love for men; and the employment of the people at the proper seasons.”
56. When Tsze-hsia, being governor of Chu-fu, asked about government, Confucius replied, “Do not be desirous to have things done quickly; do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.”
57. Tsze-kung asked about government. Confucius replied, “The requisites of government are that there be sufficiency of food, sufficiency of military equipment, and the confidence of the people in their ruler.”
Tsze-kung said, “If it cannot be helped, and one of these must be dispensed with, which of the three should be foregone first?”
“The military equipment,” said the Master.
Tsze-kung again asked, “If it cannot be helped, and one of the remaining two must be dispensed with, which of them should be foregone?”
The Master answered, “Part with the food. From ancient times, death has been the lot of all men; but if the people have no faith in their rulers, there is no justification for the state.”
58. Chi K'ang, the usuring head of the Chi clan, was distressed about the number of thieves in his state. When he inquired of Confucius how to do away with them, Confucius replied, “If you, sir, were not covetous, they would not steal even if you should reward them to do so.”
59. “To govern means to rectify. If you lead on the people with correctness, who will dare not to be correct?”
60. Chi K'ang asked “What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?”
Confucius replied “Sir, in carrying on your government, why should you use killing at all? Let your evinced desires be for what is good, and the people will be good. The relation between superiors and inferiors is like that between the wind and the grass. The grass must bend when the wind blows across it.”
61. Tsze-kung asked, “What qualities must a man possess to entitle him to be called a government official?”
Confucius replied, “He who in his conduct of himself maintains a sense of shame, and when sent to any quarter will not disgrace his leader's commission, deserves to be called an official.”
Tsze-kung pursued, “I venture to ask who may be placed in the next lower rank?”
He was told, “He whom the circle of his relatives pronounce to be filial and whom his fellow-villagers and neighbors pronounce to be fraternal.”
The disciple continued, “I venture to ask about the class still next in order.”
Confucius replied, “They are determined to be sincere in what they say, and to carry out what they do. They are obstinate little men. Yet perhaps they may make the next class.”
Tsze-kung finally inquired, “Of what sort are those of the present day, who engage in government?”
Confucius replied, “Oh, they are so many misfits and bunglers; not worth being taken into account.”
62. The Master said, “To lead an uninstructed people to war is to throw them away.”
.Selection and adaptation Copyright © Rex Pay 2000.
*****
.
.The Meaning of Civility
by
Guy Burgess, Ph.D. and Heidi Burgess, Ph.D.
.
The increasingly vocal campaign for civility in public discourse reflects an understandable and widespread frustration with the current tenor of political debate. There is a growing realization that our inability to deal with broad range of problems is largely attributable to the destructive ways in which the issues are being addressed. This raises a crucial and increasingly controversial question--what exactly do we mean by "civility"?
Clearly, civility has to mean something more that mere politeness. The movement will have accomplished little if all it does is get people to say, "excuse me please", while they (figuratively) stab you in the back.
Civility also cannot mean "roll over and play dead." People need to be able to raise tough questions and present their cases when they feel their vital interests are being threatened. A civil society cannot avoid tough but important issues, simply because they are unpleasant to address.
There must also be more to civility than a scrupulous adherence to the laws governing public-policy decision making. Clearly, there are numerous instances in which the parties to public-policy conflicts act in ways which are inappropriate, even though they are legal.
In short, any reasonable definition of civility must recognize that the many differing interests which divide our increasingly diverse society will produce an endless series of confrontations over difficult moral and distributional issues. Often these issues will have an irreducible win-lose character and, hence, not be amenable to consensus resolution. While continuing confrontation is inevitable, the enormous destructiveness which commonly accompanies these confrontations is not.
In our work at the University of Colorado's Conflict Research Consortium, we have been developing an approach which we call "constructive confrontation''.
Separate People from the Problem
First, and most obviously, is a commitment to civility in the traditional and relatively narrow sense of the word. People need to recognize that other thoughtful and caring people have very different views on how best to address their community's many complex problems. Constructive debate needs to focus on solutions which are most likely to be successful, and not upon personal attacks leveled by adversaries against one another. This is summed up by Roger Fisher, Bill Ury and Bruce Patton, authors of the New York Times best-seller “Getting to Yes”, who advise disputants to "separate the people from the problem." When this is not done, conflicts tend to escalate so much that key decisions are made on the basis of very personal, "us vs. them" animosities rather than the relative merits of competing problem-solving strategies.
Obtain Available Facts
Many public policy disputes involve factual disagreements which are amenable to resolution through some type of fact-finding process. Failure to discern available facts substantially increases the probability that the situation will be so misunderstood that the solutions adopted will fail to achieve the desired results. Constructive civil debate, therefore, requires that the parties work together to resolve factual disagreements wherever possible. There are, of course, many cases in which factual issues can't be resolved because of irreducible uncertainties associated with the limits of scientific inquiry. When, this is true, contending parties need to publically explain the reasoning behind their differing interpretations of the factual information which is available.
Limit Interpersonal Misunderstandings
Often the adversaries proceed on the basis of very inaccurate (and usually unjustifiably evil) images of the interests, positions, and actions of others. Civility requires that contending parties make an honest and continuing effort to understand the views and reasoning of their opponents. The community needs to condemn the deliberate distortion of information and the presentation of unbalanced views as unacceptable.
Use Fair Processes
Civility also requires that the public issues be addressed by a process that is fair in both appearance and fact. Public input needs to be honestly solicited and considered. Decisions also need to be made on the basis of substantive arguments. Advocates of the status quo should not be able to prevail by simply introducing endless procedural delays which prevent alternative proposals from being considered or acted upon.
Limit Escalation
The most destructive confrontation process, escalation, arises when accidental or intentional provocations beget greater counter-provocations in an intensifying cycle that transforms a substantive debate characterized by honest problem solving into one in which mutual hatred becomes the primary motive. De-escalation and escalation avoidance strategies are needed to limit this problem.
Honor Legitimate and Ethical Uses of Power
Public policy disputes involve issues which people feel very strongly about. Given this, disputing parties can be expected to use all of the powers available to them in an attempt to prevail. In our political system this means that people are entitled to use the legal and political system to advance their interests. We should respect this right and not attempt to require that the parties renounce their power options as a precondition for discussion.
Separate Win/Win from Win/Lose Issues
Wherever possible, the parties should try to reframe the conflict in ways which transform win-lose confrontations into win-win opportunities. In cases where this is not possible, the parties need to recognize and accept the fact that political and legal institutions will repeatedly be called upon to make the tough choices.
Limit the Backlash Effect
While political, legal or other types of force may produce short term victory, they also tend to generate a powerful backlash. People hate to be forced to do things against their will and can be expected to launch a "counterattack" at the earliest opportunity. The best way to limit this backlash effect is for parties to take positions which can be justified on the basis of broadly acceptable principles of fairness which all members of society have an interest in supporting. While such justifications cannot be expected to convert all opponents, they can be expected to increase the parties' base of support by attracting some opponents as well as a larger number of "middle of the roaders." This emphasis upon the justification tends to produce more reasonable positions on both sides while making it more difficult for contending parties to pursue purely selfish objectives.
Try to Persuade and Allow Yourself to be Persuaded
One crucial element of civility is recognition by conflicting parties that it is possible that they are wrong and that the policies advocated by their opponents are actually better. This entails an obligation to seriously consider the arguments made by opponents and to carefully try to explain and justify one's own position to one's opponents and others.
More Persuasion, More Exchange, Less force
The best ways to produce stable, long-term policy change is through persuasion in which parties are converted to their opponent's point of view, or through exchange through which the parties negotiate mutually beneficial win-win trade-offs. This implies that the use of force should be minimized wherever possible.
E-mail: burgess@colorado.edu
Copyright 1997 © by Conflict Research Consortium
.
*****
Spirit Walk Ministry
A Shamanic Studies Ministry
583 State Road
Plymouth, MA 02360
United States
ph: (617) 682-8354
contact